


Good Clean Wholesome Fun

by bottomchanyeol, yourmaknae



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Asexual Character, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 17:00:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8853025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bottomchanyeol/pseuds/bottomchanyeol, https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourmaknae/pseuds/yourmaknae
Summary: Baekhyun loves Chanyeol more than sex.- This fanwork was written for round 1 of the bottom!Chanyeol fest [2016].





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the admin for being transparent and chilled out throughout the check-in process, thanks to my buddies for motivating me to get off my ass and write this and thanks to the prompter for coming up with such a fun prompt to write. I hope you like my interpretation!

_**(3 years ago)** _

Sangsu Station is as empty as expected at midnight, a few of the night cleaners eyeing his heavy suitcase and designer jeans cautiously. Baekhyun is tired, the train journey from Bucheon having taken 2 hours longer than expected and his eyes are rimmed red; tell-tale tear tracks shining down his cheeks when they catch the light. His steps echo loudly as he heaves his suitcase up the stairs, huffing with every step. This is a new start and he is ready for it, even if deep down it feels like going back home is still the better option.

“You okay there?” A voice asks as he emerges at the top of the station. The lights and shadows are disorientating, neon signs for 24 marts and nightclubs taking up the strip of Hongdae. Baekhyun turns and sees a drunk smile and a tight dress. A student.

He nods at her. “I’m looking for some dorms.” He rummages through his bag, pulling out a piece of paper with an address on it. “Do you know where this is?”

The girl looks at the paper and then back at Baekhyun in scrutiny. She lets out a laugh. “You’re a student? I thought you were an idol.”

Baekhyun flinches, but she doesn’t catch it, grinning widely. “Walk down the street until the lights, take a left and then another left and you’re there. Once you’re done unpacking… if you want to join me and my friends, we’ll be in NB2.” She points towards a club further up the street, crowded by a group of girls that are hollering at her.

He bows to her. His words come out a little robotically. “Maybe. Thank you.”

His suitcase feels a little lighter as he watches the girl shoot off to the club, eyes soaking in the sharp colours and the smell of street food. He clatters down the street, ignoring the shouts of other drunk students from every direction, one hand reaching to wipe away the remnants of his tears.

The receptionist at the dorm building looks at him sympathetically as he walks in, handing over a shiny set of keys and standing to give him a pat on the back. His room is tiny, furnished with only a desk and a lumpy futon, but it's enough. Baekhyun gets introduced to his first neighbour in the shared bathroom; patting on serums and moisturisers while comforting the guy who is retching into the toilet bowl.

As he settles into bed, pulling earphones out of his bag and pumping up something popular in the charts to full volume, his mind wanders. He thinks back to his father’s face a month ago, when he’d refused to sign the contract with SM, back to his mother’s face when he accepted a scholarship for a university, living away in Seoul. It hurts a little, but he pulls a face mask on and wills the tears away, not wanting to remove the eye cream he’d just applied by crying. Old habits. He can still feel the stuffy practice rooms his mother drove him to everyday after school, the same rooms stylists would come in and scrutinise his acne, his height, his weight, his everything. Sleep comes easy.

The next day, he goes to a club with fake ID and smoky eyes. He loses his virginity to a guy from the sports team, hard, fast and exhilarating. The rest is history, a reputation as Hongdae’s best player built up easily when you know exactly how to croon sweet nothings into somebody’s ear.

Back home in Bucheon; that’s where all his insecurities stay.

\---

_**(Present day)** _

Baekhyun calculates that he can get from Starbucks to Sangsu Station in less than five minutes if he runs. He has no calculations for the deep shit he is in though; no way of knowing how Taeyeon is going to react. The only thing he knows is how quickly he can get away from her if everything goes south.

“I don’t do girlfriends.”

The cafe is crowded and under the tiny table separating them, Taeyeon’s knees are pressed up against his. He can feel them shaking.

“I just don’t understand why,” She begins, coffee nearly spilling out of her cup as she battles to keep her hands still. “We’ve slept together multiple times. Don’t you feel anything for me?”

A popular ballad is playing quietly over the speakers and Baekhyun hums to it while raking through his brain for a response. He stirs his coffee half-heartedly, avoiding Taeyeon’s gaze. He’s never had a conversation like this with her before.

“I sleep with everybody.” Baekhyun blurts out, finishing his sentence with a weak smile. It’s an unnecessarily harsh statement and Taeyeon is threatening to spill tears down her pretty cheeks, so he comes up with a better rejection. “You deserve better.”

She begins to cry anyway, slinking her hands together on the table with a sigh. “I don’t want better, though. I don’t know what more I can do to win you over.” Taeyeon is still so gorgeous, even as she cries and her expression tries to morph into something ugly. Baekhyun almost wants to wipe her tears away, but she does so herself. “We’ve had pillow talk—I know you’re really looking for something permanent. I was just hoping that I could be that something.”

The music turns to something more upbeat. Baekhyun only has one response to offer her. “I’m sorry.”

He checks the time on his phone and gives Taeyeon a shaky smile. “I have class now. Do you want another coffee? I’ll pay for it.”

“Save being nice for a girl you actually have feelings for.” Taeyeon bites, taking long strikes for a small person. A bell chimes as she leaves.

\---

Baekhyun can list off the number of crushes he’s had on one hand. Maybe two, if you include his fascination with what’s hiding under Minseok’s Starbucks uniform as a crush, although that faded away once he found out. Taeyeon could’ve been one, maybe if Baekhyun was a better version of himself.

“I don’t know what you want me to say to you,” Jongdae says, disdain clear in the lilt to his words.

It's stuffy in one of the university’s supposedly high-tech vocal recording studies, Baekhyun having to meld flat against the wall to accommodate Jongdae and a hoard of mic stands. He feels cornered.

“You reject her when you’ve been leading her on for weeks. I can’t exactly comfort you when you’re the one that’s in the wrong.”

“Don’t talk down to me.” Baekhyun replies scoldingly. His eyes are pleading. “I thought I could do it, I really did. Taeyeon is perfect. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.”

Jongdae’s expression is stony, his posture making him look bigger than Baekhyun when they’re the same height. He’s gripping onto one of the stands out of habit, almost as if he is giving a speech. Baekhyun really isn’t a captive audience.

“Well, you did, and now you’re facing the consequences.” Jongdae’s words are harsh, but his eyes still have that teasing fire in them that Baekhyun craves. “Tiffany has probably started a petition to kick you out of this year’s musical already. Not that I’d worry about that, you’re the only guy in the department who can tap dance and we’re doing Singing in the Rain.”

Baekhyun allows himself to laugh a little, the mood lightening. “Just tell me I’m not crazy.” He says. “Tell me I’m not crazy for not feeling anything for Taeyeon.”

“You’re crazy.” Jongdae states immediately. The corners of his lips are upturned. “She’s the best girl you’re ever going to find. You get along well, she likes all your friends and she even helped you get an internship last year.”

Baekhyun looks pathetic, so Jongdae adds, “You’re crazy but you aren’t stupid. If you don’t feel anything for her, you did the right thing. Better to let her down earlier rather than later.”

It's awkward, the way Jongdae knocks over a mic-stand to pat Baekhyun on the shoulder; even more so when Baekhyun accidentally cups Jongdae’s ass trying to pull him in for a hug. But it's brotherly and familiar and a whole host of things to Baekhyun that he craves more than he’d like to admit, so he lets himself smile.

“Hey, Jongdae.” Baekhyun mutters after a while, mind already somewhere else. “Sulli or Jonghyun?”

Jongdae shoves him out of the hug. Baekhyun flinches as his back hits the wall. “C’mon Baekhyun. You just broke Taeyeon’s heart and you’re thinking about your next bed warmer?”

“Old habits die hard.” Baekhyun replies with a shrug, schooling his features into a smirk as he waves off Jongdae with a lazily blown kiss and a slam of the door, moment of weakness forgotten.

\---

_“Hey, Baekhy—brother. I know it's early, but mom’s wondering if you’ll come home for Christmas this year? It’s been 3 years since you last came home, and we all miss you. Please call back.”_

Baekhyun’s finger hovers over the delete button. He presses it.

\---

Two weeks after the tastefully dubbed _Taeyeon Incident_ finds Baekhyun awake at the asscrack of dawn, damp bangs flopping over his forehead and sneakers untied. He is cursing the performing arts gods to hell and back as he runs to the drama theatre from his dorm.

“Look what the cat dragged in.” He hears Minseok bark at him mockingly as he pushes open the grand double doors that lead into the auditorium, chest heaving. He curses again, unable to understand how his friend is so well put together at 6 in the morning.

“Fuck off.” Baekhyun bites, shoving him harmlessly into a row of chairs as he slopes down the stairs towards the stage. “And tell your coffee buddy to prepare for his death.”

He hears Minseok’s footsteps following him, but pays this no mind. He hasn’t had breakfast, hasn’t read through the scenes they are practising today, and all because apparently Jongdae thinks that it's a good idea to book stage rehearsal slots for whenever the cast is half-asleep. When the devil tries to give him a witty greeting from only couch in the group dressing room, he receives two middle fingers in response.

Baekhyun is not a morning person. “I have a two-hour workshop on fucking music promotion and advertising straight after this. I hate you.”

“The feeling’s mutual.” Jongdae replies, eliciting a laugh from a wicked-looking Sulli, who is sitting beside him. Jongdae stands up, cupping Baekhyun’s cheeks. “How’s our princess doing on this fine morning?”

“I was doing great until I woke up.”

Jongdae pinches his cheeks hard. “Wow, these are perkier than you are!” He gets his hands swatted away. “Cheer up, Baekhyun. I had to book this slot because it was the only time our audio-visual guy could do today.”

“Junmyeon would never agree to help us this early.” Baekhyun states, pulling his script out his bag. Junmyeon is their go-to guy for sitting in the AV booth during the rehearsals for the performing arts department’s yearly musical. He’s incredibly helpful, but he’s also a health fanatic and Baekhyun knows that he wouldn’t sacrifice beauty sleep to watch people mess up their lines for a couple of hours.

He gets a laugh in response. “That’s true, since Junmyeon isn’t helping us at all. He’s busy with a placement this year, so he found us a freshman who has volunteered to help out.”

“What kind of idiot would agree to help us out for nothing?”

“This guy, apparently.” Jongdae says with a shrug. There is amusement dancing in his eyes. He pushes Baekhyun back on stage and points towards the tinted windows of the AV booth. “Junmyeon said he just really likes Singing in the Rain. Go and get mic'd up.”

As Baekhyun runs up to the booth, he wonders which poor soul Jongdae had found to sit through their rehearsals. Baekhyun can't imagine many people want to watch a bunch of students working through hangovers to try and perform a musical half-heartedly.

He slips through the half-opened door and is greeted by the sight of a boy who looks like he should be at the gym and not crammed next to a mix desk. There is no time for Baekhyun to catch anything other than a thick black hoodie and fiery red hair before he is almost knocked over by the guy as he shoots out of his chair. He hears a pitchy apology and feels a mic being shoved into his hands.

“Slow down,” Baekhyun says airily, “I know I'm good looking, but we’ve only just met.”

Baekhyun gets a good look of the guy now, taking in his wide eyes and pouty lips, coupled with gangly limbs and messy hair. He looks young. He's cute, cute in the way a garden gnome is for the first five minutes after you've bought it.

“I'm sorry.” The boy begins and Baekhyun blanches a little, because his voice is deep when he isn't squeaking out nonsense. “I'm just excited, Singing in the Rain is my favourite musical.”

“It’ll be more than just your favourite once you see my Don.” Baekhyun jokes, slipping his headset on and gesturing towards the mix desk. “You going to do a mic check on me?”

The boy splutters wordlessly in embarrassment, rushing back towards his chair and pulling expensive headphones over his ears. They do a quick sound check and the boy promises to level Baekhyun’s voice with the others as the rehearsal progresses, looking a little more confident with the seemingly familiar technology in front of him, before almost begging for the shorter man to go out and start performing. Baekhyun has never seen somebody so enthusiastic about a musical so early in the morning.

Jongdae is laughing at Baekhyun’s confused expression as he walks back down to the stage. “I see you’ve met Chanyeol.”

“I don’t want to know who I just met.” Baekhyun replies, stepping up to the centre of the stage and flipping through his copy of the script. “What scene are we starting from?”

The other man ignores the question, glancing away from Baekhyun. “Trust me, you do. Chanyeol is a like walking accident combined with never-ending optimism. It’s hilarious.”

“Well, I’m mean, he kind of reminds me of a puppy, I guess.” He looks to the sound booth after saying this and sees Chanyeol looking directly at him through the glass, eyes impossibly wide and cheeks red. Baekhyun’s eyes widen too and he immediately turns to hit Jongdae around the head. “Our fucking mics are on and you knew it, you ass!”

“Hey,” Jongdae begins. “It's not that bad, you could’ve called him something worse.”

Baekhyun sounds guilty. “He looks so embarrassed.”

Jongdae’s witty reply is cut off by an angry-looking Minseok, who looks ready to leave when the rehearsal hasn’t even started. He makes a biting comment about how they should be thankful Chanyeol has offered to help out before pulling the pair into their places on the stage and telling everybody to start.

“We only have an hour left because of somebody being late.” Minseok says accusatively, slinking into a seat in the audience with some of the others who aren't in the first scene.

Baekhyun grins. “Zip it, baby.”

Minseok is about to shout a hot-headed reply to the playful pet-name, but Sulli takes Baekhyun’s words as her cue to start. As disorganised as he is, Baekhyun is an artist in his craft and even with barely looking over the script, he already walks through it seamlessly. Every now and then he notices bright eyes crinkled into crescents, or opened wide in interest, watching him from the AV booth.

\---

It's a Tuesday night and Baekhyun knows it's probably a bad idea to hook up with one of Taeyeon’s friends 6 hours before he has to get up and go to musical rehearsal. The bottom line here is that Baekhyun doesn't think about how bad his ideas are until after he executes them.

_“Hey, Baekhyun. I know it's late, but I’m just leaving a voicemail—“_

Baekhyun groans, pulling his phone away from his ear. He’s half hovering over Seohyun and half moving to throw his phone at the wall. Jongdae’s voice is washing over him and Seohyun laughs softly. “He has bad timing, huh?”

The phone is thrown on the floor, Baekhyun wants to deal with his boner before Jongdae’s whining, forgotten. He pulls Seohyun’s chin up, straddling her hips, kissing her hotly, messily.

_“—Rehearsals are starting an hour later tomorrow, so come at 7, not 6.”_

Seohyun sounds lovely when she moans.

\---

Day two of waking up at the asscrack of dawn and Baekhyun is no better prepared than he was yesterday. He still hasn’t eaten breakfast and he has another pointless lecture, this time about music theory, afterwards, but at least he’s on time today. The campus is quiet as he rocks up to the theatre, auditorium void of Jongdae’s obnoxious laugh as opens the doors. Even the stage lights are off.

“Hello?” Baekhyun calls out, his voice echoing clearly across the large hall. “Anybody out there?”

He ends up walking all the way backstage and then back out to the seating, looking frazzled. It takes him a little longer to notice the light coming through the gap of the ajar door to the AV room. He walks over to it and knocks out of courtesy, not expecting to hear the sound of something heavy crashing to the ground from inside.

“Chanyeol?” He calls out– _that’s his name, right?_ –, pushing the door all the way open. This guy really doesn't give good first impressions. “You okay?”

“I think so,” Comes muffled as Baekhyun enters, taking in the sight of the same black hoodie and long legs sprawled out on the floor, chair knocked over. A stack of folded music stands has fallen on him. Only the back of his head can be seen and his hair is damp, sticking up in every direction. “I'm not completely sure though.”

It takes a couple of minutes to heave everything off Chanyeol and afterwards, Baekhyun looks down at him, pleased to see no bones bent at funny angles. The same can't be said for some kind of sweet pastry that seems melded with the carpet after being squashed. “Was that your breakfast?”

Chanyeol sits up and his eyes travel to where Baekhyun is pointing, a pout forming on his lips. He sighs. “My crostata!”

The foreign word goes over Baekhyun’s head, so he decides to hold out his hands to help Chanyeol up—an offer clumsily accepted—before coming up with more important questions to ask. “Where is everybody?”

“Well, they aren't here yet because you're an hour early.” Chanyeol replies helpfully. “I'm here setting up the desk for when we start at 7.”

Baekhyun looks confused so Chanyeol adds, “Jongdae sent everybody a message last night.”

Avoiding a tantrum in front of the freshman, Baekhyun claws at his messy bangs and cursing endlessly to nobody in his mind. Chanyeol reaches down to pick up his once-breakfast, looking far too emotional for somebody who has only lost food. He looks at Baekhyun hopefully. “Have you eaten?”

“No.” Baekhyun replies, his stomach rumbling as if for emphasis. A pretty smile forms on Chanyeol's lips as he hears this. Baekhyun gestures towards the door. “You wanna grab something before the others get here?”

Chanyeol's smile grows wider as he nods. The only thing Baekhyun can think is _pretty, pretty, pretty_ and it's far too early for shit like this.

The university’s overpriced and overrated bakery is almost empty when they get there, Baekhyun narrowly avoiding Taeyeon’s glare from behind the counter while Chanyeol waves at her in apparent greeting. The special offer sign detailing something about free coffee when you buy bagels has never looked so interesting.

“You know Baekhyun?” He can hear Taeyeon asking Chanyeol as the tall man pays for his food. She doesn't sound happy.

When Baekhyun turns around to face her, he realises she doesn't _look_ happy either. Chanyeol is still smiling, though. “I'm doing the AV stuff for this year's musical.”

“Oh yeah, I think I remember Tiffany mentioning you.” Taeyeon offers, counting out change from the cash register. Her hands stop in mid-air as she goes to give it to Chanyeol, leaning forward a little and side-eying Baekhyun suspiciously. She speaks bluntly. “He's not offering you sexual favours in exchange for helping out, right?”

“Oh come on, Taeyeon—” Baekhyun begins, but he gets cut off.

“We’ve only known about each other's existence since yesterday,” Chanyeol says with a little laugh at the end—cute unfairly flashes through Baekhyun's thoughts again—, “And I don't recall him coming onto me, so I don't think so.” How Chanyeol can say all this so breezily is beyond Baekhyun.

The freshman takes his change and backs off, already opening his paper bag to take a bite out of the croissant he’d bought. Baekhyun looks at Taeyeon scornfully as she serves him.

Her voice is low. “You'd better not try anything with Chanyeol. He's too much of a sweetheart for the likes of you.”

Baekhyun wants to snap back something about how Chanyeol isn't even legally an adult yet and that he's not a cradle robber, but all he gives her is a smile. The paper bag is warm in his hands when she hands it over. “Have a good day, Taeyeon.”

He hears her scoff as they leave.

“Did you kill her dog or something?” Chanyeol questions light-heartedly. He takes another bite of his croissant. “She really hates you.”

Baekhyun throws a backward glance at the bakery as they walk away from it. “Something like that.”

Chanyeol leaves it there and immediately starts asking Baekhyun about his major and the fine differences between performing arts and regular drama. As they walk along, he learns that Chanyeol is a music major—explains how he knows Taeyeon—, allergic to short-haired animals and that he grew up in Italy; his parents later deciding to come to Seoul to open a restaurant. He talks a lot.

Jongdae has a Cheshire-cat sort of smile on his face when he sees them walk in together. “You gonna fuck him?” He mouths at Baekhyun, earning an eye-roll and a chunk of Baekhyun’s bagel being thrown at his head. No way is he fucking a kid who looks like Yoda.

\---

Jongdae has a way of planting ideas into people’s heads, and as much as Baekhyun prides himself in being able to resist the other man’s strange way of verbalising bad ideas so that they sound good, he finds himself considering things. Chanyeol-related things. He pushes these thoughts to the back of his mind, Chanyeol is 18 and he sort of looks like a gnome. He is not a potential catch.

They’ve been texting a lot, but that doesn’t mean Baekhyun is interested. It just means that he’s found good company – Chanyeol finds all his jokes funny and understands all his references to obscure American plays. Even if he’s at the point where he can’t stop smiling at the thought of Chanyeol laughing through text, that doesn’t mean he’s infatuated. Not at all.

“Do you want a latte or a hot chocolate?” Comes through his phone, Chanyeol’s voice even lower than usual in the morning haze. Sulli’s head is leaning on his shoulder, their legs dangling off the edge of stage.

It’s become a routine since their run-in with Taeyeon, Chanyeol bringing Baekhyun different Italian pastries from his family’s restaurant for breakfast on rehearsal mornings, instead of Baekhyun having to make the walk of shame to the university’s bakery. Baekhyun probably knows more about Italian food than he knows answers for his stage management exam at this point.

Baekhyun hums. “Which tastes better?”

“Well,” Chanyeol pauses and some muffled talking comes through the phone; Baekhyun thinks he can hear a woman’s voice, “I’d say hot chocolate, but my sister thinks lattes–”

“Just bring whatever you think.” Baekhyun cuts in with a snort, rolling his eyes. “Thanks. See you in a bit.” The call ends.

Sulli looks amused. Her arm loops itself lazily around Baekhyun’s shoulder, pulling them closer together and as she eyes the people sitting around in the auditorium below them. Her voice is quiet. “You two seem closer.”

“If you mean closer as in I sometimes send him selfies without BB cream on then, yes, totally.”

“You know what I mean,” Sulli says, drawing out her words playfully. There’s a dangerous glint in her eyes. “Have you fucked yet? Or is that too scandalous since he’s only 18, although I know you’re all kinds of scandalous.”

Baekhyun shoves her away. The girl is nothing if not a gossip; it's a well-known fact. “No.”

He expects to hear more remarks about how he’s moving slow, or how Chanyeol wouldn’t be wrapped around his little finger if they weren’t fucking, but Sulli just looks at him thoughtfully. “I knew it.”

“What do you mean you ‘knew it’?”

Sulli shrugs, fingers moving over her lips in a gesture that they are, for all intents and purposes, sealed.

“C’mon Sulli, don’t go quiet now!” Baekhyun whines, reaching for her hair and laughing as she tries to stay silent while he slowly pulls it.

She gives up and yowls when it starts to hurt, swatting his hands away. “Fine, fine fine. But don’t start screaming at me.”

Baekhyun leans in, his ear nearly touching her mouth. She sounds more serious than usual. “You have a puppy crush on him.”

“What are you trying to say?” His confusion is loud, Minseok and Jongdae looking over at the sound. Sulli sighs, shaking her head at everything.

She rolls her eyes at him. “Way to ruin a heartfelt conversation, Baekhyun. Next time I won’t help you spell out your own feelings.” Pushing herself off the stage and into the seats, she throws a middle finger at a snickering Jongdae.

When Chanyeol comes in with his drink of choice, handing it over to Baekhyun with a grin and a cheesy wink to match, Baekhyun wonders if the younger man is flirting with him. He realises that he wouldn’t be completely opposed to that.

\---

It takes a few weeks for Baekhyun to realise that Chanyeol isn’t flirting with him; he’s just overly nice to everybody. He sees the taller boy indulging a homesick Krystal in accented English conservations if the latter looks even a little upset, sees him offer to pay for Sulli’s coffee when she forgets her purse one morning and sees him do an embarrassing dance to Super Junior’s _Sorry Sorry_ just to divert attention away from Minseok falling in the middle of a crowd.

He ponders this in an empty practice room, unfocused eyes coupled with a busy mind causing him to repeat the same sentences over and over.

“I’ve had one motto which I’ve always lived by,” Baekhyun mutters to himself, limbs splayed out on his futon and reading a thick script. “Dignity, always dignity.”

The door to the room he is lazing around in is pushed open and Baekhyun perks up at this, script falling out of his hands. Chanyeol walks in, huffing as he carries an impressively large stack of instrument cases in his arms, muscles flexed. He spots Baekhyun and grins. “Hi!”

“What are you doing, Chanyeol?” Baekhyun asks, unable to stop himself from laughing. He stands up to help him with the heavy equipment.

“I’m searching for the instruments that my friend left all over this block.” Chanyeol replies cheerfully, eyes scanning over the room. “The music department really needs them back.”

They work together to put Chanyeol’s pile on the floor and as he goes to claim a guitar that’s shoved into one corner of the room, he notices Baekhyun’s script. He pauses to pick it up, eyes lighting up once he realises what it is.

“Singing in the Rain!” he exclaims, walking back over to Baekhyun’s spot. His well-loved sneakers are leaving skid marks on the laminated floor, but Baekhyun doesn’t have the heart to point this out when he sees how animated Chanyeol is. “Looking forward to performing it?”

“I will once I’ve finished learning all my lines.” Baekhyun replies, smile never fading. “But Jongdae gave me the original English movie over the holiday and I’ve been hooked for months now. It makes me wish I could speak English.”

Chanyeol begins to rifle through the script, his smile widening to breaking point. “It still sounds good in Korean, though.”

“You’d make a good Cosmo.” Baekhyun says after a few moments of consideration, fingers rubbing under his chin in an exaggeration of his deliberation process.

“Hey!” Chanyeol whacks him on the arm and Baekhyun lets at an indignant squeal at the contact, quickly rubbing where he hit with a soppy pout. “Why can’t I be Don? I want to get the girl!”

“Because I’m Don.” is what he confidently replies, flexing his arms tauntingly and doubling over in laughter when Chanyeol mockingly cat-calls at him. They both know who has the more muscular arms of the two of them, and it isn’t Baekhyun. “You can be my wingman.”

“You don’t need a wingman, I saw you with Seohyun on Tuesday.”

Baekhyun’s smile turns down a few thousand watts. “You did?”

“Yes, and then with Sulli on Friday.” Chanyeol is so polite as he points out Baekhyun’s latest conquests, it's almost adorable. He notices the small change in Baekhyun’s expression and flails his arms a little in panic. “I’m not judging you!”

“I know you’re not,” He reaches up to ruffle Chanyeol’s hair– the tall boy looks like a scolded puppy–then moves to pick up the instrument cases again. “I’ll help you take these back.”

They walk out of the music block with Chanyeol describing New York’s Broadway, both falling into hysterics when Baekhyun purposefully butchers the high notes in Defying Gravity. Baekhyun’s heart feels fuller.

\---

“If I had 1000 won for every member of the arts department that you’ve fucked, I could probably afford one of those bulk boxes of donuts, y’know, from that donut place in Hongdae.”

Baekhyun raises an eyebrow. “Are you only counting the arts department? If you included the soccer team, you could probably get two boxes.”

Sehun’s dick is hot, heavy and throbbing in his palm. They’ve done this before, so Baekhyun is unfazed by Sehun’s habit of bringing up stupid topics while they’re hooking up. He thumbs the slit and Sehun groans.

“Quiet,” Baekhyun says teasingly, sliding a little further forward on his knees so that his breath ghosts over Sehun’s length. “Somebody might hear you and investigate.”

He’s no stranger to trying risky quickies in public, especially in the dance studios. Sehun is backed up against the water machine, pants out of the way and both hands gripping Baekhyun’s hair. Dance practice had taken up most of their day, and Baekhyun can already feel the tell-tale burn of effort in thighs. Sehun had looked especially good today.

“You’re so damn good at this,” Sehun moans as Baekhyun engulfs his dick, the praise going over the older’s head–he hears the same compliment all the time. Sehun continues, still coherent enough to try and make decent conversation. “I don’t know what I’ll do when you finally ask him out.”

Baekhyun just hums, the vibrations low and tantalising, trying to tune out what Sehun’s saying and focus on the high he gets from pleasuring somebody else.

It’s only afterwards, once Sehun has returned the favour and they’ve cleaned up, that Baekhyun wonders that the other boy meant.

\---

Baekhyun is running out of synonyms for nice. Chanyeol comes to every rehearsal with a big smile just for Baekhyun, a thousand compliments on his lips and all Baekhyun can think is wow, this kid is so kind, friendly, gentle, charming, likable, other nice bullshit. The other problem Baekhyun has is that Chanyeol is only becoming increasingly attractive in his eyes, especially in the muscle tees he likes to wear under that stupid hoodie. They move on from that awkward stage of acting like half-acquaintances and half-best friends when Baekhyun offers to help Chanyeol with some recording for his music portfolio.

Baekhyun pulls his headphones off and slides them around his neck, stretching back in his uncomfortable desk chair and looking to his side. Chanyeol is asleep, face crumpled into his arms, the glow of the monitor in front of them lighting his red hair an artificial blue. The time blurrily reads a little before midnight and Baekhyun rubs his eyes as he mouses over the track that they had been working on, checking that it’s all there before he saves it, finished drafting for now.

He turns again, biting his lip to hold back a smile as he tousles Chanyeol’s hair. His voice is hoarse from singing the same lines over and over, so he speaks lowly. “Chanyeol, we’re done for tonight.”

Chanyeol should be the one staying up late to work on his music, slaving away behind the computer for hours, but he’d barely lasted an hour before he collapsed on the desk. The growing dark circles and the frequent spacing-out had given his exhaustion away to Baekhyun a while ago, but it was still strange to be the only person mixing tracks, without the deep lull of Chanyeol’s voice accompanying him throughout the process.

“We could just sleep in here?” is the offer that Baekhyun gets in response and he scoffs at it, yanking at the man’s hair playfully. Chanyeol swats his fingers away, holding back a yawn and continuing. “I didn’t help at all and it's supposed to be my composition.”

“Let's go back to mine.” Baekhyun decides, waving off what had been said. He begins to pack up their bags quickly, running his fingers carefully through Chanyeol’s hair once more before standing up, knowing that the younger man won’t remember the skin-ship in the morning. “I’ll sleep on the floor and you can take the futon.”

“I'll take the floor.” Chanyeol replies, stretching as he stands up and taking most of the bags from Baekhyun’s arms. His skin is oily and his lips are dry, but Baekhyun adores the sleepy pout that the taller man slips on, matched by mussed up hair. “You're the one letting me stay.”

They both double check to make sure that the cramped music studio is tidy before locking the door, Baekhyun placing the keys under the door of his tutor’s office.

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol begins as they walk through their university’s campus and out of the gate, music sheets fluttering in the night air. “I’m sorry I’m making you waste your time helping me every night. I know you have better places to be.”

Baekhyun snorts, stretching up to hook his arm around Chanyeol’s shoulder lazily, guitar case loud as it clanks against his back. “I can pass on sex when it comes to you.”

The words seem to affect Chanyeol, who stumbles a little, tripping over nothing. Baekhyun tries to catch his gaze but the tall man looks away. He is mumbling. “I just feel bad.”

“Don’t feel bad,” the words breeze through the night. Baekhyun repositions himself, standing in front of Chanyeol under a dim streetlight so that they come to a stop. This time, he searches for Chanyeol’s eyes and neither can look away once he finds his gaze. Baekhyun knows this is it, this is his chance to make something more of the building tension he’s been feeling in his chest. “You know I like you a lot, right?”

“I like you a lot too. Feels like we’ve been best friends forever!” Chanyeol replies quickly, stepping away from him.

Fuck.

Baekhyun doesn’t want it to be awkward, so he does what he does best, he opens his mouth and talks without thinking.

“I can’t believe some weird freshman thinks he’s my best friend.” He gets a playful hit on the arm, but that’s not where it hurts. His head hurts, his chest aches a little too.

They fill the short walk back to Baekhyun’s dorm with scratchy singing to some new pop songs. When they go to sleep, Baekhyun takes the futon and Chanyeol takes the floor. They aren’t close physically, but Baekhyun thinks that his heart is sitting in the palm of the taller man’s hand, which isn’t something he’s sure he wants.

\---

November hits Baekhyun with a painful hangover as a result of having a little too much fun clubbing on Halloween. The first flush of morning doesn’t feel pleasant on his skin and after heaving his guts out down the toilet and kicking Jonghyun out of his bed, he considers his options. It's 5:30 in the morning and _shit_ , his ass is on fire and he would rather go anywhere other than to musical rehearsal.

_chanyeol, can you tell jongdae i’m not gonna be at rehearsals today?_

The text is sent and done, Baekhyun knowing that he can use Jongdae’s fondness concerning Chanyeol as leverage to ensure he won’t receive an angry phone call from the other man. Apparently, the pair trade old vinyls. Baekhyun would call it cute but that’d only be half-truthful because Jongdae certainly isn’t cute.

_why can’t u tell him?? >_ _ㅁ_ _<_

Baekhyun really likes Chanyeol, something he had decided was serious enough to confess to Jongdae. It’s been a month and Baekhyun has never felt lighter than he does now. Jongdae’s innuendos have never been more infuriating.

_because he’ll get angry if i tell him but he likes you so he’ll be nice if you tell him_ _ㅡㅡ_ _’’_

_pleaseeeeeee chanyeol?_

It takes a while for Chanyeol to reply. Baekhyun is halfway through chugging down a glass of water when his phone next buzzes.

_i will if u do something for me!!  °_ _ㅅ_ _°_

Baekhyun laughs. Chanyeol is too nice for his own good and the last time he had asked Baekhyun for a favour, all it had been was to borrow a pen.

_sure. what is it?_

Chanyeol's reply is immediate.

_come with me to open mic this friday!!_ _ㅎ_ ___ _ㅎ_

The cheap futon in his dorm’s shared kitchen is more than comfortable as he flops down on to it lazily, bowl of cereal balanced one knee as he shoots Chanyeol an affirmative reply. The kid had been mentioning open mic night constantly, but Baekhyun knew that he was too nervous to go along alone, so he'd never attended. Baekhyun might’ve gone prior, if serial sex wasn’t on his agenda.

\---

They meet at Chanyeol’s family’s Italian place; partly because it's closer to the open mic venue but mainly because Chanyeol's dad offers Baekhyun free leftovers over the phone. It's cold outside, with an icy breeze that ruffles the thin scarf around Baekhyun's neck, so it is with a spring to his step that he enters the cozy restaurant. Chanyeol's dadㅡa man almost as tall as his sonㅡgreets him and points towards the back, where Chanyeol is clearing an empty table, looking semi-put together in a dress shirt and pants; head bare of a flashy snapback.

“Am I too early?” Baekhyun probes, giving the freshman an appreciative once-overㅡhis mile long legs make up for his severe lack of an assㅡand smiling at an older customer who catches his gaze. Chanyeol hasn't noticed him yet. “I can leave and come back later, if you want…”

That gets his attention. “No! I'm sorry, give me a minute.” Chanyeol's smile is as pretty as always as he turns around and waves Baekhyun over, continuing his cleaning. “Dad saved some Hawaiian pizza for you in the kitchen.”

The plates he's carrying are shaking dangerously, but Chanyeol successfully leads them both into the stuffy kitchen and says something foreign to the chef– _God, he sounds hot speaking Italian_ –, resulting in a couple of hot pizza slices being handed to Baekhyun. His mouth is watering.

“Go back out there and sit down, my stuff’s in the break room.” Chanyeol says rapidly before leaving him. When Baekhyun walks back outside, Chanyeol's dad immediately engages him in conversation. The restaurant is pretty empty.

“So, you're the infamous Baekhyun.” He teases, friendly face grinning down at him. He lays cutlery on the unmade table. “Chanyeol has been talking nonstop about you. He tells me you play the best Don Lockwood he's ever seen on stage.”

Is it rude to talk with your mouth full? Baekhyun doesn't think about the answer as he replies with a stuffed mouth. “I'm almost certain I'm the _only_ Don Lockwood he's ever seen on stage.”

This elicits a laugh. Baekhyun feels a large hand patting his shoulder. “Enjoy the pizza.” Chanyeol's father walks away to serve a table of customers, giving Baekhyun a few moments to look around.

There are photographs hanging on the walls. Some of a foreign country – Baekhyun assumes it’s Italy. He can recognise a few of Chanyeol's sister, Yura, winning various awards for journalism. There are a lot of photos of Chanyeol from a young age, all of them showing him posing or playing various instruments. His ears have always stuck out.

“I didn't know you were a child prodigy?” Baekhyun teases as he hears heavy footsteps approach his table. He points towards one particular photo of Chanyeol as a toddler, winning an award at a piano playing competition. “You were much cuter as a baby.”

“Don't look at those,” Chanyeol whines as Baekhyun turns to look at him. There's a pout on his lips and his hair looks messy even when it's been gelled back. Baekhyun almost feels guilty for lying, because Chanyeol is most-definitely still just as cute right now. “My mom put them up to embarrass me.”

He washes up well when he wants to, Baekhyun thinks, the skinny jeans and turtle-neck completing his shoujo-manga-boy look. He’s halfway to considering how to get the boy into his bed tonight when Chanyeol cuts in.

“Finish your pizza,” He says quickly, sliding into the booth across from Baekhyun. He looks at his watch. “Open mic starts in half an hour and I want to get a good seat.”

Baekhyun complies and they banter all the way to the venue, one of those hole-in-the-wall, drab interior places with couches that have probably seen more bodily fluids than a toilet bowl. Chanyeol has to wear a fluorescent wristband to show he’s underage, Baekhyun cackling at his sour face. Chanyeol finds a table to sit at while Baekhyun promises to buy him something alcoholic at the bar, wondering if Chanyeol gets horny when he’s drunk.

When he finishes paying and goes to search for their table, drinks in hand, he almost spills them from the momentum of his heart dropping. Chanyeol is talking to somebody, looking as starstruck as he does when he looks at Baekhyun, and _wow_ , something nasty is clawing at Baekhyun’s chest and he hasn’t even taken a sip from his beer.

“Hi,” He says, cutting in half-way through the new guy making Chanyeol laugh about something. His legs are wide open as he sits on the chair next to Chanyeol, beer slammed on the table a little forcefully. A little show of that feminine dominance which defines him. “Are you Chanyeol’s friend?”

The guy gives Baekhyun his own starstruck look, taking in the eye liner and the half-smirk on his lips. He nods. “I’m Kyungsoo,” His reply is monotone, but his eyes are expressive, and Baekhyun can see understanding flash through them. “I’m Chanyeol’s friend. Just his friend.”

He’s not touchy, not possessive, so Baekhyun doesn’t understand why he feels proud as Kyungsoo slides his chair away from Chanyeol’s with a quick side-glance at the oldest. Baekhyun passes Chanyeol his beer with a laugh.

“When are you performing?” Chanyeol asks.

“Soon.” Kyungsoo glances at Baekhyun again. “You don’t have to worry, I’ll be up on stage before you know it.”

Baekhyun grins at this.

“Well,” Chanyeol begins, looking between them. “If you guys don’t mind acquainting yourselves, I need to take a leak.”

He stands up, soldiering off to the bathroom and leaving Kyungsoo and Baekhyun to make small-talk. Baekhyun decides that the wide-eyed guy doesn’t seem so bad, so he takes a sip of his beer and opens his mouth to talk, but Kyungsoo beats him to it.

“You’re Byun Baekhyun.”

“Yes, so?”

Kyungsoo is holding back laughter. “You’re Byun Baekhyun and you’re into Park Chanyeol.”

It’s hard being the butt of the joke when you don’t understand what the joke is. Kyungsoo looks light-hearted, so Baekhyun just raises his eyebrow, deciding to keep his questions to himself.

“Has anybody told you yet?”

“Told me what?”

“That Chanyeol doesn’t do… well, he doesn’t do sex.” Kyungsoo notices the flash of shock that crosses the older man’s features before he can school his face into something more neutral. He continues. “It’s weird, I’ve never heard of anything like it. The minute you crack one too many innuendos he turns into a blushing virgin. Say anything more and he pours his heart out to you about his no-sex dilemma. I didn’t know what to say when he told me.”

Baekhyun’s silence is an answer enough of his opinion.

Kyungsoo stops smiling, almost frowning, but there’s still amusement in his eyes. “You’re looking at him like he’s your entire world, though. If I didn’t know better I’d say you like him more than sex.”

Chanyeol comes back before Baekhyun can process a response, too caught up in the giant’s wide grin and the knowledge that he’s digging himself into a hole every time he meets the boy’s eyes. Some things are so pretty that it’s hard to look away, though.

\---

Baekhyun is normally knowledgeable on sex-related topics, but Chanyeol’s no-sex thing has left him stumped. He finds out from Minseok that the technical term is “asexuality” and sets off to learn more, sitting cross-legged with his laptop perched over his thighs, googling variations of “what the fuck is asexuality” and “can asexual people love or am i being cheated”. The results he receives leave him wondering why sexual orientations can't just come with instruction manuals.

\---

“Is it true?” Slips out during the middle of a movie, Baekhyun’s own eyes widening as he asks the question.

Chanyeol came up with the idea of having a movie night while the rest of the guys in his dorm were out partying. Baekhyun hadn’t mentioned that he was invited out by his own friends and chose Chanyeol’s collection of subtitled American musicals over dancing his heart out and probably blacking out by the end of the night. He figures Chanyeol would feel guilty if he found out.

“Is what true?”

Baekhyun braces himself as he gathers his next words. “You’re like, anti-sex?”

“Anti-sex?” Chanyeol asks with a gulp, and Kyungsoo wasn’t kidding about the whole blushing virgin act–his cheeks are already dusted in a faint pink. “You’re asking if I disapprove of you sleeping around? Of course I don’t, its none of my business.”

“No, not that.” Baekhyun says, waving his hands around in affirmation of his words. “I don’t know, I just heard that you don’t want to have sex, or something.”

“Oh.”

Baekhyun almost freaks out. “I didn’t mean it badly – just, don’t worry about it. Forget I asked.”

“No, it’s okay,” Chanyeol starts, action movie long forgotten as he stares at Baekhyun seriously, nerves showing in his shaky hands. “People say I’m weird, so I don’t mention it, but I know you’re just curious. It’s not interesting, if that’s what you’re thinking. I just find sex tiring. Sex to me is like cleaning the dishes to you – kind of satisfying when you’re finished, but a whole lot of work for a boring result.”

The air is serious and Baekhyun clears his throat. “So, do you like, get off to porn, or is that a no-go too?”

He gets popcorn shoved into his mouth in response. Chanyeol is half-stuttering, half-laughing; taking a handful of popcorn and eating it himself. Baekhyun reaches over and takes the bowl–Chanyeol has been hogging the popcorn since the movie started–, turning to face the television set again.

\---

 _“Baek_ _ㅡ_ _brother, it's less than a month until the Christmas holiday starts and we’re all wondering if you’d thought about coming home?”_ Baekbeom sounds upset. _“I’ll stop trying to call you after this, if that’s what you want. The whole family misses you.”_

Delete.

\---

It takes Baekhyun offering to cover Jongdae’s hours teaching kids how to sing for his friend to co-operate with him. Not that Jongdae hates volunteering at the local drama school, but everybody wants a week off and Baekhyun uses this to his advantage.

“You know people, Jongdae.” Baekhyun pleads when he and Jongdae are at the gym. The younger is headed for the bench press while Baekhyun wants to run on the treadmill on the opposite side of the room, but Baekhyun really needs to sort this out before they separate. “I know you could get me the tickets in five minutes if you wanted to.”

His friend sighs, eying Baekhyun judgmentally. “You also know people. Your family, for example. But you refuse to talk to them so you have to come to me for help.”

The remark sort-of hurts, but then Baekhyun remembers that he shouldn’t feel upset that he doesn’t talk to his relatives. He shoots Jongdae a soppy pout, sweaty bangs half-covering his eyes. “I thought you were nice.”

“I thought you were smart.” Jongdae shoots back, but he sighs again, caught by Baekhyun’s stupid sad face. He unlocks his phone and begins to type. “Fine. What days can you do?”

“Thanks Jongdae, I owe you my life!” Baekhyun replies, bowing to his friend dramatically and pulling him in for an unappreciated, sweaty hug. “And next Sunday would be perfect, if you could get tickets for then?”

Jongdae scoffs, pushing his friend out of the hug and sniffing. He has a little smirk gracing the corners of his lips. “I hope you don’t smell this bad when you take loverboy out on your date.”

“Who said we’re going on a date?” Baekhyun questions, voice level but reddening ears giving him away. He speeds off to the treadmill, ignoring Jongdae’s answer.

“You don’t have to say it out-loud for it to be obvious.”

\---

Baekhyun could never swear by suits. They are expensive, uncomfortable and require ironing, plus he’d spent far too much time choosing between a skinny or a fat tie to go with his. Chanyeol in a suit though, that’s something Baekhyun could get used to.

“I can’t believe you got tickets!” Chanyeol exclaims, lined eyes–courtesy of Baekhyun’s hands–twinkling under the streetlights as they queue outside the theatre. His hair is slicked back and his height is defined by the cut of his suit, but the way he looks around wildly gives away his age. “I’ll pay you back some day!”

“Relax,” Baekhyun simpers, letting Chanyeol’s hand against his forearm guide him forwards. “This is your birthday present; I don’t want anything back.”

They make it to the front of the line, Baekhyun handing over a pair of tickets to a stern looking employee, laughing to himself at Chanyeol’s child-like wonder. His eyes are glued to the neon sigh ahead of them, grand and enticing, _Singing in the Rain_.

“Just don’t insult my Don once you’ve seen a professional play him.” Baekhyun warns light-heartedly, Chanyeol erupting into his obnoxious laughter in the middle of a foyer full of the wealthy people of Seoul. They’re still grinning at each other when Baekhyun orders their drinks, still as they enter the auditorium and even when the lights dim and Chanyeol turns to face the stage, Baekhyun feels a sweaty palm slide into his. He holds back a giggle.

Singing in the Rain is one of those once-in-a-blue-moon broadways shows that comes to Seoul, littered with idols and funny-sounding accents. Chanyeol is in love with it, his eyes crinkling with every joke and humming along to every song. Baekhyun is in love with Chanyeol. Both of them are having a good time.

“Hey,” Chanyeol probes during the interlude, bumping shoulders with Baekhyun and looking at him with his unintentional pout. “Is it hard to dance when the stage is all wet?”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun humours him, lips already tugging into a smile. “Feels like you’re dancing on ice.”

“You’re a better dance than the lead in this.” Chanyeol states, moving closer to sling his arm around Baekhyun’s shoulder. “You’ll be up there in his shoes one day.”

He sounds so sincere and Baekhyun’s heart swoons. It’s an uncomfortably good pang in his chest. “Thanks.”

They chatter more, ignoring the judgemental looks that the older couples sitting around them throw, immersed in themselves.

When it ends, Chanyeol is blathering all the way out on to the street, the pair opting to take the subway back to Hongdae. It’s late–almost midnight–and the street lights come on as they walk along, only rain needed to make it look like something out of the show they’d just seen. Chanyeol is still humming along to the soundtrack, arm linked around Baekhyun’s and ears turning red in the cold.

“You’re the best.”

“Only for the best!” Baekhyun replies, voice almost cracking and giving him away. He plays it off as something humorous, but it’s clear to everybody but Chanyeol that he means more.

The taller man just smiles at him, wide and bright. The subway’s entrance is looming in the distance, but Chanyeol stops them before they reach it. His cheeks are almost as red as his ears. “Push me away if this is weird.”

Baekhyun barely has a moment to think about what’s been said before he feels his chin being tilted up, full lips pressing softly against his for a moment before they’re gone again. It’s the sort of pure kiss that anybody would expect from Chanyeol, laced with nothing but a sugar-coating.

“Sorry.” He says sheepishly, turning to continue on his way to the station.

Before he can start walking, Baekhyun tugs him back and presses an equally innocent kiss to his lips in return. The older feels his confidence return as he pops the question, “Go out with me?”

Chanyeol pulls him into a hug. “I wondered when you’d ask.”

They steal pecks all the way back to Chanyeol’s restaurant, Baekhyun leaving with the fluttering feeling that comes with confessions. He thinks that if he stares at his palm hard enough, maybe he’ll see Chanyeol’s heart in it. They’d be equal that way.

\---

Dating Chanyeol is like having a puppy–God forbid Baekhyun had ever compared him to a gnome–; he’s so excitable and quietly devoted to cheering Baekhyun up, not to mention obvious when he’s feeling starved for attention. Baekhyun swears that there’s nothing he would change about their relationship (and he’d be lying to himself).

Weekly studio recording is over-running, it almost turning midnight, Jongdae’s powerful voice muffled through the wall. Baekhyun and Chanyeol are relaxing on the old couch outside the recording room, wrapped up in each other, unworried about somebody other than Jongdae walking in. Baekhyun’s probably had sex on this couch before, but not today. Today they’re just talking.

Chanyeol can only be described as over-eager, not just to Baekhyun, but to practically anybody who comes across him. Even his little mannerisms and his boring movie references come with thundering enthusiasm and big smiles. Still, Baekhyun thinks he may have put his expectations along the wrong lines, if the faltering grin and stutter is anything to go by.

“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.” Baekhyun states, trying to be conscious of how understanding he sounds. It’s a little hard when your boyfriend is half in your arms, half sprawled across your lap, shaking like a leaf. “I don’t care if you don’t want to have sex, Chanyeol.”

Baekhyun feels him shift, looking down to see wide eyes looking up at him. “I care, though.”

However carefree Chanyeol acts, he’s someone who will put all his insecurities on the table in front of you if you choose to look for them. Baekhyun can see everything shining in his eyes, or in the little quiver of his lip as he struggles to find his next words. “I don’t want to have sex to make you happy, but – _well_ – I want to make you happy and I think that’d be the way to do it.”

“I’m happy if you’re happy.”

That’s not strictly true, but Baekhyun doesn’t want to admit to his asexual boyfriend that his dick is trying to call the shots. He thinks that would be a good way to break-up, if anything good at all. And breaking up is the last thing on his priorities list.

“Just,” Chanyeol begins, almost hiding his face in Baekhyun’s shoulder, peering up through his lashes. “Just don’t break up with me yet, okay? I’ll figure everything out.”

“Who talked about breaking up?”

Chanyeol is still rambling, more to himself than anybody else, when Baekhyun pulls him in for a proper embrace, limbs intertwined half-awkwardly yet very comfortably; the same way everything seems to be between them. “Stop worrying, idiot.” Baekhyun scolds lightly, allowing himself to comb his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair self-indulgently. “You’re better than sex.”

They fall asleep on the couch like that, Baekhyun waking up first, half-hard in his tight jeans. Jongdae has thrown a blanket over them. He detangles himself, ignoring Chanyeol’s sleepy whining and wills his dick to behave. Fuck.

\---

It’s still far too early for rehearsals, but when Baekhyun gets to the theatre this time, he smiles to himself. The auditorium is empty. Chanyeol is up on the rigging, back facing his boyfriend’s as he positions the lights. Baekhyun’s footsteps are too far away for him to hear.

“Hey,” Baekhyun starts off quietly, waiting for Chanyeol finish what he’s doing and turn around. He receives a tooth grin. “Do you want to grab breakfast? I’ll pay for it.”

“Let me finish fixing these,” Chanyeol gestures to the rest of the lighting rig, “And then I’ll take you up on your offer. I’ll teach you some technical stuff if you want?”

Baekhyun ends up learning more than a few titbits about lighting, Chanyeol’s voice still a little hoarse from sleep as he complains about the cable management backstage and how the current rig is a pain to control at the lighting desk. It’s not something Baekhyun can say he cares about, but Chanyeol’s low voice is relaxing to listen to and he doesn’t find himself getting bored, even as he waits around, footing the ladder, for Chanyeol to finish.

As Chanyeol climbs down and walks up the auditorium with Baekhyun, he is beaming. “This is sort of like the first time we spoke properly, huh?”

“A little.” Baekhyun replies, his own smile taking over his features. “But this time, I could eat you up for breakfast instead of a croissant, if I wanted to.”

Chanyeol stammers, cheeks flushing red. Baekhyun just laughs, grabbing his wrist, and speeding up their walk to the bakery. Cute.

When they get back to the theatre, pastries in hand, Chanyeol flops down into one of the seats in the audience and Baekhyun allows himself the small pleasure of draping himself over his boyfriend’s lap.

“Do you want a bite of my Danish pastry?” Baekhyun asks, fidgeting to try and find the most comfortable position on Chanyeol’s thighs. “It’s apricot flavoured.”

“Sure,” is the reply, so Baekhyun shifts again to sit facing Chanyeol, immediately pressing his food up to the other man’s lips playfully. Chanyeol isn’t wearing a snapback, but he still looks like a kid as he munches on the sweet pastry and then whines as he offers his own to Baekhyun, licking his lips. “Have some of mine, Baekhyun!”

Chanyeol’s lips are pouty, and they look shiny from the glaze that has rubbed off on them. Baekhyun can’t resist as he leans in and cleanly licks the glaze off them before taking a bite of Chanyeol’s croissant, witnessing the flicker from shock to amusement that crosses his expression. He takes another bite, looking at his boyfriend innocently.

“How long until rehearsals start?”

Chanyeol glances down at his watch. “20 minutes.”

They continue eating their breakfasts at that. Baekhyun feels like he’s in the middle of a big waiting game, tensing up a little every time Chanyeol licks his lips or shifts his legs underneath him. Baekhyun finishes his food and waits for Chanyeol to do the same.

“We still have 15 minutes,” Baekhyun states, leaning in again to kiss Chanyeol and feeling all kinds of butterflies in his stomach. He smiles against Chanyeol’s lips when he feels the other man hold his hips to ensure he’s balanced. Chanyeol isn’t a bad kisser considering things; he’s pliant, if not a little jittery when Baekhyun adds tongue to the mix.

It’s the most innocent make-out session Baekhyun has ever had–no hair pulling or wandering hands–but he still feels a spike of arousal, innocence be damned. He presses himself further into Chanyeol and by the time he realises that’s dump humping his boyfriend, Chanyeol is pulling him back by the hair.

“I’m sorry,” He says, panting. “But we need to stop.”

Baekhyun knows that he looks out of it right now; swollen lips coupled with blown out pupils. He can’t help the whine of annoyance that bubbles from the back of this throat. He blinks a few times to clear his head when he notices the guilty expression on Chanyeol’s face.

“Don’t worry about it,” He starts, patting Chanyeol’s cheek and standing up. He wiggles his eyebrows as he starts to waddle away, his arousal obviously even in his loose sweatpants. “They installed a bathroom out back for a reason.”

“You’re so shameless!” Chanyeol shouts as he runs off.

\---

“If your libidos don’t match up, don’t you think that’s a problem?” Minseok pries, slapping Jongdae’s hand away whenever the younger attempts to sneak food off his plate. Baekhyun had texted his friends in search of advice, but all he’s getting is a brick wall. The trio are sitting in one of those cheap-but-still-pretty-expensive-for-students chicken restaurants, having lunch together before they need to rush to performance rehearsals later in the afternoon.

He sighs. “But I want to make things work.”

“You’ve never tried to before, so why this time?” Minseok says, looking a little judgemental in a way that Baekhyun knows not to take so seriously. “You could’ve tried for Taeyeon and you didn’t – I don’t see what makes Chanyeol so special. He’s nice, yeah, but you’ve slept with plenty of other people that are nice. They’ll be there for you _and_ indulge you as much as you want.”

Jongdae scoffs. He manages to get a chicken wing this time. “C’mon, you can’t deny that Baekhyun and Chanyeol are practically soulmates if we ignore this bump in the road.”

“Sometimes one thing is all that’s needed for a relationship to fail.” It all sounds too solemn and Baekhyun almost wants to cry.

“Stop being a dick!” The pair start bickering, Baekhyun ignoring them in favour of finishing his chicken and considering his options.

\---

“Who’s this?” Baekhyun hears Chanyeol ask from the bedroom. They’d been messing around in the kitchen earlier, Chanyeol offering Baekhyun the shower in his family’s tiny apartment since he’d finished covered in flour. Baekhyun wouldn’t spend his Saturday afternoon any other way. “Yeah, I can pass the call to him, give me a minute.”

There’s some shifting around, then a knock on the door. Baekhyun adjusts the towel around his waist and opens up. Chanyeol smiles at him, mouthing nonsense while gesturing to Baekhyun’s phone that’s he’s holding in one hand. He hands it over, not even giving Baekhyun’s body a glance. It’s somewhat disappointing, but completely expected.

“Hello?” Baekhyun asks, not bothering to spare a glance at the caller ID. He wishes he had once rapid rambling comes down the line. “Oh, Baekbeom. Hi.”

He wants to hang up, but Chanyeol is looking at him expectantly, one eyebrow almost raised, so he keeps talking. “What do you want?”

His brother starts talking about Christmas, a staple of every phone call. It grinds Baekhyun’s gears. “No, I’m not coming. Tell mom to find somebody else to put up with her shit over the holiday.”

Baekhyun hangs up immediately, already fuming. He instantly regrets his decision when he sees the confusion on Chanyeol’s face.

“You aren’t seeing your family for Christmas?”

“I don’t talk to them, really.” Is offered in reply. He sounds a little pathetic.

Chanyeol looks unnervingly expressionless. “Maybe you should. You never know when you’ll lose the chance to see them.”

He looks too serious for once, and Baekhyun thinks he knows why. Chanyeol mentions his mother sometimes, but Baekhyun has never met her. Everything clicked when he overheard Chanyeol’s father talking on the phone, asking how much time she has left and whether she should move to a new ward in the hospital. He’s never asked Chanyeol about it.

Baekhyun can’t handle Chanyeol’s gaze, so he closes the bathroom door and tries to think his way out of it. When he comes out and goes to his boyfriend’s room, dressed and looking skittish, Chanyeol is flopped on the bed, headphones plugged in and head bobbing. Baekhyun cracks.

“They wanted me to be an idol.” He states, causing Chanyeol to look at him with widened eyes. Its natural when Baekhyun flops down beside him, sighing. “I was going to debut in a sure-fire successful boy group, but I decided to take a performing arts scholarship instead.”

“Why didn’t you? Debut, I mean.”

It takes a little while for Baekhyun respond, and he doesn’t realise there are tears in his eyes until Chanyeol pulls him into his embrace and they spill over his cheeks.

“My parents are higher ups in the entertainment industry. I’m sure they had everything planned for me since before I was born. I started training as soon as I was able to, wasn’t allowed a social life outside of dance classes, hell, I even got my face fixed at 16. Maybe to them, I’m their son, but to me, I feel like I’m their mannequin.”

Baekhyun told himself that he wouldn’t cry over anything, not since he left home, but Chanyeol’s offering him a shoulder that he can’t bring himself to refuse. “I want to see my family, but I’m scared. I acted so perfectly until I left. Imagine if they saw me now – loud, having sex just to spite them and deep down, wishing they could be proud of me when I’m like this.”

“I think you should go home and visit.” Chanyeol supplies, voice steady.

“I can’t.”

“If your brother still calls you, three years later, I think that’s proof enough that they’ll still be proud of you, no matter what.”

Chanyeol pulls him closer until his lips are brushing Baekhyun’s cheek, hope alight in his eyes. “Go home for Christmas, please? Do it for your own sake.”

They leave the conversation there, Baekhyun pushing Chanyeol back on to the bed so that they can lay together. He calls Baekbeom the next day, booking his train ticket and hoping that something good happens out of this.

\---

Christmas happens surprisingly uneventfully. Baekhyun won’t admit that he cried almost as soon as he saw his brother, but that’s neither here nor there. Chanyeol caves and tells Baekhyun about how he spends his Christmas in a festive hospital, trying to stay calm as his mother slowly forgets who he is. Brain cancer. 3 months if she’s lucky. They don’t talk about it again.

Chanyeol seems to get clingier as time passes. The holidays play out as an interlude, and it takes over a month for Chanyeol’s insecurities to slip out again.

He has never looked as ethereal as he does now; red hair splayed across the pillow, framing him like a halo. The eyeliner Baekhyun had neatly applied earlier is smudged and crinkles with his eyes as he smiles, drunken giggles slipping out. His speech is slurred but his sloppy actions are understandable as he sits up and holds his arms out, looking like a puppy wanting to be petted. Baekhyun has never felt more tested than by the boy in his bed.

“I’m cold.” Chanyeol whines, lips forming a pout as he leans further forward. His arms are shaking and Baekhyun regrets allowing the man to leave without a jacket, although he couldn’t complain about seeing the outline of muscular biceps all evening.

“Come here,” Baekhyun almost coos, shuffling towards the bed and melting into Chanyeol’s arms. He feels cold hands moving him lethargically, rearranging him until his back is against the headboard and Chanyeol has a way to drop his head into his lap. The tall man has his eyes closed with a goofy smile on his face and Baekhyun can feel fingers searching for his. He already knows, but he asks Chanyeol anyway. “What do you want?”

“My hair.” is all Chanyeol mutters as he finds Baekhyun’s hand and drags it towards his head. It's almost instinctive as Baekhyun combs his fingers through the waves, smiling as his boyfriend hums in satisfaction.

Baekhyun had sobered up as Chanyeol had gotten drunk, resigning himself to be the taller man’s caretaker for the night. It had gotten him some shocked looks at the bar, people being used to him getting outrageously drunk and sleazy in correlation. It wasn’t hard to look after Chanyeol aside from convincing him that mixing drinks would be a bad idea. Baekhyun decides that he likes the feeling of having somebody to show off, rather than looking for somebody who wanted him in their bed for the night.

“Do you want to stay over?” Baekhyun asks, massaging his scalp lightly. The sky is dark outside the window, streets quiet aside from a few intoxicated stragglers. Chanyeol’s home is half-way across Hongdae.

The bed is already cramped without either of them trying to sleep on it, but Chanyeol runs cold and Baekhyun is a human heater, so it's no issue. Baekhyun laughs as Chanyeol gives him a slow thumbs-up, shoving him off his lap and ignoring his boyfriend’s whining as he leaves the bed. He rummages through his dresser, pulling out a t-shirt and then coaxing Chanyeol out of the bed and stripping off his top and skinny jeans, prying fingers away that try to wrap him in a hug away.

It takes a hard shove for Chanyeol to detach himself from Baekhyun and lumber into the bathroom down the hall, still whining all the way there. “Brush your teeth!”

It takes some time, but Baekhyun has never felt more content than with his arm over Chanyeol, fingers grazing his stomach and one leg hooked over his thigh. The man still isn’t warmed up, even with the covers other them, so Baekhyun nuzzles his face into his neck and kisses the skin there.

“I bet you do this with all the people you get into bed with.” Chanyeol mumbles, voice light but drunken insecurity showing.

Baekhyun smiles into his neck. He isn’t so affectionate with anybody else. “I don’t, actually.”

The older makes the executive decision to talk about it in the morning.

\---

“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun begins over breakfast, smothering butter on his toast. “Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.” Chanyeol looks especially awake for somebody that was drunk off his ass the night before. He’d even offered to prepare a cooked breakfast for Baekhyun this morning, but that was shot down immediately.

Baekhyun braces himself to ask his question. “Why are you so insecure about us?”

Chanyeol just looks at him for a moment, vulnerability showing in his expression. He stammers a few times before he makes eye contact with his boyfriend. It takes him even longer to verbalise an answer. “You’re… experienced.” He starts, he ruffles his hair. “I don’t think you hear what other people say when they talk about you. How you’re amazing in bed and always looking for somebody fun to sleep with.”

He gets a nod in response, plus a few gestures from Baekhyun to continue explaining.

“It’s just, people have told me that we shouldn’t work. That you’ll get bored of me. And things are going well now, but what if in a month you decide I’m not physical enough? You’ll tell me to fuck off and find some other asexual weirdo to settle down with. I don’t want that, I don’t know if that’ll ever happen, but I’m scared. You’re too good to me.”

Tears are welling up in Chanyeol’s eyes. He’s so pitiable like this, the way he crumbles when Baekhyun pulls him in for a hug, all whimpers and choked back sobs. He keeps talking. “I just want to make you happy.”

“I am happy,” Baekhyun replies immediately. He strokes Chanyeol’s hair. “I’m really happy.”

“You’re always in the mood and I never help you out.” Chanyeol scoffs. “Don’t try to deny it, I might not be a sex god, but I know what a boner looks like.”

Baekhyun feels his temper flaring up a little, but he tries to level his tone. “Well, you might not want anything up your ass, but you still have hands, Chanyeol.”

He expects a snarky reply from his boyfriend, but he gets the opposite. Chanyeol straightens out, a new light in his eyes; looking contemplative. He smiles and takes a bite from his food. “You’re right–I have hands.”

Baekhyun decides it’s better that he doesn’t ask.

\---

Even without asking, Baekhyun gets his answer the next time they’re making out. Baekhyun’s dorm room is stuffy, even in the February weather, and Chanyeol looking so delectable isn’t helping to cool him down. Baekhyun is thinking about cutting off their kisses before he gets a boner that’ll cause hours’ worth of blue balls when Chanyeol makes his move.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Baekhyun hisses out when Chanyeol palms his crotch through his jeans, looking a little wary.

His boyfriend smiles tentatively at him. “Just trying something new!”

Baekhyun can only register pleasure when Chanyeol slips his hand down his pants and into his boxers. Chanyeol is blushing, but Baekhyun’s eyes flutter shut and he barely notices his boyfriend’s hesitations.

“I’ve never done this with another guy before, so tell me if this is okay,” Chanyeol stammers, and Baekhyun thinks it’s hilarious that he can sound so meek when he has a large hand wrapped around Baekhyun’s cock, pumping it rhythmically. “Baekhyun?”

“You’re doing good,” Baekhyun chokes out, leaning up against Chanyeol’s chest. “Keep going.”

Chanyeol’s hands are warm and rough from years of playing the guitar. He’s attentive as he uses his other hand to tilt Baekhyun’s face up, leaning in for a sweet kiss. Baekhyun would almost think he got off on pleasing other people if he didn’t know that Chanyeol doesn’t really get off at all.

It takes Chanyeol executing a few well-timed flicks of his wrist while asking, “Baekhyun, is this still good?” for Baekhyun to come. He slumps forwards, spent. When he looks up, he sees Chanyeol taking a tentative lick at the jizz covering his hand, and if he was still hard, he knows that he could come again just from that image alone.

“Honestly,” Chanyeol says seriously, “It doesn’t taste that bad.”

“You are something else.”

“I’m thinking about trying to suck you off next time.” Chanyeol states relatively nonchalantly, causing Baekhyun to choke on his own spit. “You looked so relaxed just there.”

They flop down on Baekhyun’s cramped bed together, ignoring the need to clean up for a moment. It’s late at night but Baekhyun’s mind is reeling.

“Chanyeol?”

“Yeah?” The taller already sounds sleepy and he’s not the one who just came.

Baekhyun smirks a little. “Are you sure you don’t have some kind of praise kink?”

He feels Chanyeol snuggle into his side in reply. Baekhyun pulls his duvet further up their bodies, close to cooing as he sees Chanyeol burrow into it, in search a comfortable sleeping position. It comes out as a mumble, “If I do–is that a bad thing?”

“No, not if it means you keep giving me great hand-jobs in exchange for compliments.”

Chanyeol yawns, eyelids fluttering. “I’d give you those anyways,” His words are slurred. “Because I love you.”

Baekhyun smiles. “I love you too.”

\---

May comes around quickly. In a little under 3 months, a lot has happened. Chanyeol’s mom died in March, Baekhyun trying to hold him together throughout weeks that followed. Baekhyun’s family visited in April and were completely charmed by their son’s boyfriend, his father ready to line Chanyeol up with a music production internship at one of the big record companies over the summer. May comes with the performing arts department’s yearly musical. It’s the first performance, and Baekhyun can hear the buzz of the crowd from backstage.

“You ready?” Jongdae– now _Cosmo_ –asks, unable to hide his grin.

Baekhyun feels light, even as he’s starting to sweat though his suit. He nods at Jongdae, thoughts focused on remembering the script and the finer parts of the choreography. He barely notices when Chanyeol addresses him.

“Baekhyun!” He says, laughing. He immediately goes to Baekhyun’s head, fixing his hat. “This is lopsided.” Then, Chanyeol moves around Baekhyun, gently pulling away the mic that is taped to his side. He looks concentrated as he fiddles with it before putting it back. “And you forgot to turn your mic on.”

“Thank you,” Baekhyun leans up to place a kiss on Chanyeol’s lips. Jongdae fakes vomiting. “See you afterwards.”

“I’ll be waiting!” Chanyeol says with a grin. He still looks the same as always–same black hoodie and squeaky sneakers. Baekhyun still feels the same as always–very much in love.

Jongdae looks between them, deciding to speak once Chanyeol has walked off. “You know, we took bets on how long you two would last. Nobody thought you’d manage 6 months of one guy.”

“I’ve discovered the finer things in life.”

His friend ignores this. “How good is he with his hands?”

Baekhyun sighs, but smiles all the same. “Really fucking good.”

\---

Afterwards, Baekhyun leaves backstage and sees Chanyeol waiting for him with a somewhat familiar face by his side. Chanyeol is holding a bouquet and Kyungsoo looks like he’s holding the meaning of life with the wise expression gleaming on his features.

“You really like Chanyeol more than sex.” It’s a statement, not a question. Baekhyun laughs.

“I guess I do.”


End file.
